Thoughts on giving a failed romance another chance after time passes
Let's say a romance ended badly. The circumstances both individuals had were rough and this caused stress and tension which wasn't connected to actual issues between the couple but moreso the environment. How does one identify if the relationship failed due to the unfavorable circumstances or due to issues between the two individuals that were not apparent to either of them?
Overcoming old memories
In my past as a young child and teenager, I along with my dad (who with his own share of problems) helped look after my mum who was an alcoholic. Unfortunately alcohol did take her life far too soon when I was only 16. I often look back and think I could have been doing more to help her, to keep her wanting to be around. When she did get better from a bad bout, I would welcome her with open arms and love - as I was just happy to have my mum back. Now that I have a life with a wonderful partner and the sweetest daughter, I wish she could have seen it all. I'm often told not to beat myself about it, which I understand but doesn't sit well in my conscience. What can I practice to accept that what I could do at the time to help my parents was enough, or if there was more I could do, how I can redeem myself now? Thank you for all the good work you have done and continue to do, through your articulated thoughts on meaning and responsibility I feel like I have been able to put myself together in a way where I can respect myself much more. All the best, and looking forward to your lecture in Manchester on the 7th Sept :)
Building Intimacy
We are coming up on our 10 year anniversary. In the past 10 years we have had 3 kids, saved a generational family business from bankruptcy and survived a house fire that was a total loss. Over the years, our marriage and ourselves have gone through periods of stress and neglect, not to mention the wounds we each created in each other along the way. Most of which is my, the husbands fault, due to overwhelming anxiety, fear and stress, that consumed my entire capacity, I was not able to be a good husband. Over the past 2 years, I the husband has put my self back together to a reasonably good place. Grown my capacity for difficult situations and I am putting allot of effort in to being a good husband and father. We are able to go on dates and have fun the entire time. However we have noticed that there seems to be something blocking general emotional and physical intimacy on the wife side. To be clear when I say intimacy I don’t mean sex. I suspect that there are trust and vulnerability issues there on her side. We have talked about this together multiple times, however we are struggling to make a breakthrough that we both want to have. We go thought day to day life with Mina ok issues, however I crave to know the deeper parts of her and suspect her guard in up in some ways. What would be some exercises, mentalities, or ideas to help build general intimacy, build trust and encourage forgiveness. We both love how practical you can be. Thanks for everything. From DG.
Aion - Spammer of questions.
I am sorry if I am a, "spammer of questions".. I'll keep them limited if it takes away from others. Well, I'll try.... I gave your book, Order and Chaos, to someone after discussing, well, life in general.. and they became oddly fixated on the hierarchy. I found this oddly disconcerting. After reflection, this lead me to the conclusion. That your words, in the wrong hands could be used for self gain (If listening to words and ignoring meaning). What kind of person only focusing on that, even when one tries to lead the conversation elsewhere and they bring it back.. A few months later, After following some rabbit holes, and some of your reading list, I listened to the start of the Red Book. Yung said something along the lines of "I do not need to believe, I know"... As it was an audiobook the person speaking, interjected with his own philosophy and said that you must experience God, to understand this. I conquer, and I suppose I understand? As much as Man could possibly comprehend. I dare not, pretend.. If your shadow self is you opposite gender, and this is my observation, untrained, unread and only of a child's. Does one consumed, of their shadow, project themselves as the opposing gender? Such as, "beastly" women and "precious" men? Now the person reading the Red Book, also said one must read Aion, prior to the Red Book. I see why, kind of, I leave an open mind for expansion. But I will finish with what my interpretation of Jung's meaning (Albeit, premature, but my immediate light bulb and remember Child like interpretation***). To know someone, you must meet them. To believe someone you must know them. If one does not need to believe in God, As they know their is GOD! Then one must have MET, God. I was a bit lost before hearing that, trying to understand an unexplainable experience. But do you try and explain someone walking up to you, and introducing themselves? "Hey, Hey!" .. No, they just want to say hello. Maybe get to know you. Who knows? Only, He.