Hello, Dr. Peterson :) I could use a second opinion on this,
because I can't accept it was this easy: there are two types of "woke" people, (Politically correct characters, Post-modern Neo Marxists, Marxissists... whatever you want to call them), those that want to help people and those that want to control others. You can always tell the difference between them because those that want to help others will eventually realize that any means they could try is something that "the enemy" (capitalists, straight white males, predators - again, whatever you call them) have already used - meaning they can't use "the master's tools" to fundamentally change the master's system - and those that want to control others would have no problem using "the master's tools" to enact that control.
Trouble with my brother
Dr. Peterson, I'd like to ask for some advice if that is okay. My older brother has suffered from depression for around 8 years, he is now 29. A close friend of his died unexpectedly when he was 21, and he seems to have been unable to process this. He holds a lot of anger and resentment. He blames my Mother and Father for being bad parents, for not being there for him to support him through the grief. He accuses friends of distancing themselves from him, and for treating him badly. He also accuses me not being supportive of him. These accusations are very difficult to hear. Our family and his friends are very supportive of him. We are not perfect, but we are always willing to help him, and listen to him, and do genuinely try to support him as much as we can. I hope that I am not deceiving myself, but I do believe this to be true. I am a conscientious person, often working 80+ hour weeks in my job. I sometimes worry that I am distracted from helping him by my career ambitions. Regardless, it would be nice to see him take responsibility for his situation. He is, after all, my older brother, and I would like him to be a role model. Ofcourse, when a friend dies at a young age it is beyond awful, beyond words. But I know others who have had similar experiences, and have found a way to integrate them. God only knows how. They may not necessarily be happy, but they are striving upwards, and grateful for the opportunity to do so nonetheless. They at least act this way. I do not like that my brother is always blaming others for him not being happy. Especially when it is people that I see make a real effort for him. I do not know if asking him to take more responsibility for his state, and to stop blaming others, would be putting pressure on a depressed person to "be better", when they simply cannot. For a while I have wanted to tell him how I feel, but I do not want to hurt him. Is direct honesty appropriate for somebody with depression? Or perhaps more compassion and understanding? Sorry that the question is rather vague and rambling. In short, I want to ask him to stop blaming others for his state, to take responsibility, and to aim up. But I worry about doing this to a person with depression, a traumatised person.
What the hell is wrong with smart people embracing dumb ideologies
I argued with a female colleague at work. We're both female programmers, so into a very male dominated domain (and I don't mean it in terms of power but in terms of numbers). She was convinced that the industry is sexist because there is substantially more male engineers than female engineers. I'm thinking, okay maybe, any chance it's a matter of choice? And she found one study, I couldn't believe it, it was talking about the gender equality paradox. It was claiming that the more egalitarian a society gets and the more freedom it gives to people, the more people find it important to express their individuality and as a consequence, rely more on cultural archaic clichés to define who they are. I'm not joking, it's an actual scientific paper. How can anyone with any ounce of sense believe this to be true? And more importantly, what the hell do you suggest we do about it? Do we let people decide what they want for themselves knowing that the more freedom we give them, the lesser they'll be able to make an enlightened choice, or do we explain to them that they don't know what they want because of cultural brain-washing. Man... And she's a programmer, she's supposed to be smart. She competed against men for her position, and she actually got the damn job. Sometimes I want to send these women to Saudi Arabia just for one weekend so maybe they learn a thing or two.
Tears of happiness - In a relegious and psychoanalytic perspective
Good day Dr. Peterson, I work on a song for my fiancée and I often get tears of happiness. There is something about music, lyrics and thoughts mixed with strong emotions that brings it together. I have had the same tears of happiness when I create things for others when these feelings flourish. The last time was when I wrote a poem for my friend's wedding. It was intended as a song from the beginning but became better to read aloud. It spread like rings on the water, several family members came up afterwards and told me that I made them cry with happiness. But it was not until today that I reflected on it all and wrote it down in my book. I am really interested in these "tears of happiness" or "the gift of tears" from a religious and psychoanalytic perspective. When I see you talk about people stepping forward and expressing their gratitude for your work, how you have managed to change their lives for the better, I also see tears of happiness. So I can not help but think that you have already reflected on this and maybe can share your perspective on it? Best Wishes