Pathological Demand Avoidance
Hello 👋🏻 Within the spectrum of Autism Spectrum Disorder there is a subtype that is known as PDA (pathological demand avoidance.) The recommendations given to parents with children such as this is to reduce demands to as little as possible to allow for regulation of anxiety. It promotes a book called “The Explosive Child” which has some helpful information. Many of the parenting groups created online to address these specific issues have scenarios describing children actively assaulting & insulting parents and destroying property in response to a parent needing basic cooperation. The support being offered is suggesting to remind the child they’re loved and have support; the parent is asked to tolerate the behaviour. (See pdasociety dot org dot uk) I worry that this complete rejection of traditional parenting methods could be described as neglecting discipline altogether and could lead to really dangerous scenarios for both the person with PDA and their caregivers, given the nature of the outbursts. (For example if it was aimed towards peers or people of authority.) While having compassion and empathy for the child facing difficulties, not addressing vicious outbursts, just doesn’t feel right at all. Given your expertise in psychology, could you give advice or share your opinion / support to parents raising children with these challenges? (Given some of the recommendations aimed at parents with children with gender dysphoria being somewhat questionable, I thought it important to shine a light on little known parenting advice that could possibly create lasting damage in the long run.)
Please 🙏 any practical advise on quitting porn?
I have a dilemma which is not helping me quit watching porn. I am happily married in my 40ties but can not justify to myself why watching young sexy women is wrong for a man. It seems, so natural and healthy to feel such attraction but on the other hand my Catholic tradition clearly explains that it is wrong even to have such sexual fantasis. Is it any healthy balance to have in this respect or should I just avoid any such temptations looking away when attractive women are around as it leads to inevitable follow up temptation.
Differences in conscientiousness
How do you reconcile extreme differences in conscientiousness in a relationship? My partner and I are usually good at communicating and balancing our personality differences. Recently I have been depressed and have lost motivation for different reasons which has exacerbated my low levels of conscientiousness. This has put extreme pressure on our otherwise healthy relationship. My partner is very high in conscientiousness and agrreableness and ends up putting in way more effort than I can at the moment.
Responsibility OR Casting pearls before swine ?
Dear Dr. Peterson I have trouble reconciling two things you’ve said. On the one hand you lay out a strategy of carefully building your competence, get yourself in order, get your own house in order, and then carefully expand that to your family, friends and broader community as your competence grows. A way to do good in the world and be a good person. On the other hand you’ve explained the danger in helping people that do not want to be helped. Casting pearls before swine, and a drowning person can drag you down with them. I rather not reveal my personal story, so instead I’ll bring this to the extreme abstraction of the story of Cain and Abel. Can Abel help Cain and prevent disaster? Or is Abel the last person that could ever help Cain (due to resentment)? Or is Cain’s life non of Abel’s business to begin with? Is there a point of no return for Cain down the path to darkness? When? And lastly, if Abel can help Cain, how?