How to die better
I understand how you can help the young live incredibly better; I think you can help me die better. I’m 78 & doing pretty well. I took your Big 5 Assessment (Agreeableness 4/41, Conscientiousness 71/46, Extraversion 88/52, Neuroticism 48/43, Openness 63/45) & was not surprised. Two PTSD incidences: Vietnam: Trauma that got me was not death, but realization that my government would create specific death for political reasons I thought insane + death of my near perfect wife of 35 years after 25 years of the kind of medical horror I think you understand (3 deaths + final death). The trauma was final death from an overdose of pain medicine after a simple procedure, when I decided to go to the hotel to sleep instead of sleep on the floor in her room as normal. So, finally my question is related to memories (I have many more questions): I have many photos & diaries (some horrible & some incredibly happy)-what do I do with them? I have listened to your related podcasts but am still not sure. Do I destroy them all or do I keep the painfully happy & savor them?
Being Orderly in a chaotic household
What advice would you give to someone who is extremely high in orderliness but whose family whom I love very much (wife and 2 just adult daughters) are extremely low in ordeliness. Our relative orderliness seems to be going in opposite directions and so I find I am becoming increasingly resentful of the amount of time I have to spend “ordering” the house so that I feel comfortable living in it, and to a lesser extent, the lack of appreciation for this. I realise this is largely my issue to deal with - I’m conscious that the rest of the family in all probability don’t even notice the disorder much less are bothered by it, and I have noticed myself almost subconsciously creating little “pockets of ordeliness” but I wonder if you have any advice on practical things I can do to alleviate my frustration, or ways of reframing the situation so I can keep my resentment in check. I’m also fairly agreeable and therefore conflict avoidant, and in any case it would it would feel futile to make a big deal of this to my family, as they can’t change the way they are any more than I can. Thanks, Gary